LuNa One Shots
by Akrim
Summary: Several One Shots of the pairing LuNa. Beware of spoilers. Rating may go up.
1. Cope Part I

Hey, guys. Here is the first One Shot out of I don't know how many will follow. xD I wanna thank Foxchika17 for beta reading and I hope you'll all enjoy it.

**SPOILER** This one starts right after the war when Ace died.

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Day 1

Again, or rather, still he was captured in his pain.

He ran and ran; he screamed and screamed. The memory, the pain, it just wouldn't disappear; not even for a moment, no matter what he did. He was alone and the darkness and the pain wouldn't leave him alone.

He ran to escape the agony. He tried not to think about it. He didn't want to think about it. Not about Ace. Not about Ace, and how he drew his last breath. Not about the blood –the deep crimson blood coming from Ace as he died in his arms.

Screaming, the Straw hat Captain ran even faster on the beach of Boa Hancock's island.

He just wanted it stopped. It should stop. Nothing more. Just stop.

Luffy ran too quickly and too blindly to see the tree trunk. Even though he broke through it, he tripped and fell into the sand. He stayed like this for a painful moment. He didn't have to breathe. He didn't want to breathe. So why was he still breathing if every damned breath tore his heart even more apart?

When it started getting dark, he turned his head to the sea. Luffy looked at the sinking sun.

He wished so much to sink just like the sun. Without grief, sorrow, worry.

But this, to the young captain, was something impossible.

Something caught his attention instead, though.

It wasn't like Luffy had been approachable these last few days or that he had found something interesting, but whatever it was in the water, for the first time in a long time he was interested in something.

Luffy got to his feet and went to the water's edge, on which a piece of wood was floating.

There was a high probability that it was just another ship that had been swallowed by the sea in a storm, leaving only this behind.

But why was he suddenly interested in a piece of wood?

Luffy examined it carefully.

No, it wasn't the piece of wood that made him interested. It was more the sound coming from the wood that caught his attention. It was a piece of wood with something, or more precisely, someone on it.

Luffy stretched his arm out, grasped the wood, and dragged it –together with a small passenger –towards himself.

His eyes widened a bit when he discovered that the passenger was a little cat. He wanted to immediately turn around again and leave the kitten to itself, but the cat seemed to be wounded. Furthermore, he could see its bones clearly, and he couldn't tell how intact they were.

There was a voice inside his head, maybe his instincts, demanding to take the kitten and help it as fast as possible. He didn't know where the voice came from, but he just couldn't let the cat die, now could he?

He shut his eyes. One _more_ life would deem him responsible. And what if he wasn't fast enough? It would be his fault anyways. She would be dead. This beautiful cat, whose fur was as orange as his navigator's hair color. Nami …

He took the kitten in his hand, carefully, not wanting to hurt her, and ran as fast as possible to Hancock. He wouldn't let this cat become like Ace.

Day 3

He was running again. And running. And running. But this time it felt a little different.

From time to time, his tired mind wandered to a certain little kitty he wasn't even sure would survive.

But why did he fool himself? One more death to the list didn't matter anymore anyways. First, he wasn't able to protect his crew, and then his brother died before him. Was his crew fine? Were they alive? Did they need help? It wasn't as if they were weak but often it was him who they constantly sought after for help. After all, he was the captain. They had to have trust in him.

But now? He failed his brother. So, how could they possibly rely on him, trust in him, if he himself wasn't sure anymore that he really could protect them? Or would he kill them in the end? Because he had to jump headfirst into every adventure and endanger them, all of them, by doing so, would it be their death? His crew, would they survive him?

Luffy was shattered. Completely shattered.

He fell to the ground and tried fight away his pain by hitting the ground. Hitting it with what little strength he had left –all to no avail. His pain stayed. And no matter how much he hurt himself physically, it was never enough to stop feeling the inner pain.

Tears, so many tears that it was unimaginable, were streaming down his face.

He had failed his brother.

Somewhere inside of him, he just didn't grasp it, didn't comprehend it.

Ace was gone –gone for good. He was never coming back. He was never going to save his little brother again. Never going to teach him again. Never going to get upset and frustrated with him again. Never going to compete with him again. Ace was gone. But he was at a better place, wasn't he? That's what Luffy tried so hard to convince himself of. Ace's life never had been easy, now has it? But he had enjoyed it. Right?

The black haired boy drooped and cried bitterly until exhaustion took over.

It tugged on him. It pulled him down. He bled. He bled to death. His heart was pierced. And the knife still was in there. And it wasn't just in there, it was twisting and turning, so that the wound got bigger and bigger, and the pain worse and worse.

And it brought Luffy down, down to a place where he never wanted to be, inside himself. It was too much. Even for his strong will.

How could he possibly be strong enough now? How could he protect his beloved nakama? Would he even see them ever again? Or would they abandon him now, thinking that he was no longer suited as captain? He wasn't so sure right now. Would they let him down just like he let his brother down? He wouldn't resent them in the least, but it would put him over the edge.

Day 5

That little kitten…

Why was it here? Why was he watching it sleep? Why? It was just a little cat. So why did his instinct, his feeling tell him to be there? To Protect it. What was there that should he protect it from?

The doctor had told him it was a female cat, so it was really a kitty and not a male cat, but Luffy had known instantly that it was a kitty. Wherefrom? Instinct.

But still, he didn't understand why he was there. With this kitty.

It had hypothermia and hadn't eaten for a while now. Furthermore, its bones were cracked but nothing incurable. It would heal. The doctor said it was going to be alright. This kitten really struggled through. It was strong willed. It wanted to live. It was fighting for dear life, as if it was worth it. Worth all the pain, and grief, and agony.

She had been hit said the doctor. And afterwards she had been thrown overboard, or maybe the ship had gotten into a storm and had gotten ripped apart. Nobody knew what had happened. But this kitten should not have survived. It should not have had the will to cling to the wood and survive. It should have died since it was just a small and young kitten. It should have been killed by storms; if not storms then by hostile pirates and by God; if not by pirates then there should have been some fish. Where were all those sea monsters? Why did this kitten survive? Why did it fight? Fighting for a lost life. And it was lost the moment it saw the water. Why did it live though? Why did such a small creature survive? Why couldn't he survive? Why couldn't he have such a strong will like the kitten? What was it the kitten clung to that he couldn't cling to?

Luffy didn't know it. Yet, he envied her. She had reached her goal. It had survived. She really had survived. No one doubted her survival any more, even though she was still weak.

Day 6

The young captain sat on a cliff and watched the sun go down.

Why didn't he want to scream today? Why didn't he want to scream at all? He still wanted to run. To run away from the pain. And even though he hated it, he had no other possibility. What should he do? But then again, why was he sitting here and watching the sun? What did he want to reach with that? Did he want to reach something? What was wrong with him? Was he about to forget Ace's death? Was he trying to suppress it? Acting as if nothing had ever happened?

Well, he had tried. And it hadn't worked. It was no nightmare. Or maybe it was. The worst nightmare ever. The realest nightmare ever.

He closed his eyes and let the wind blow through his hair. He just gave himself away to the world.

He heard the waves as they rushed, heard them crashing against the rocks, heard the seagulls squawking and other birds singing, heard the leaves of the trees rustling. It all gave him courage. Hope. Everything he thought lost, everything he had given up, the world in this moment seemed to be handing everything back to him. But he didn't want to take it. He wasn't ready for it. He just didn't want to. He would not take it. Would not let himself feel hope, or courage, again.

And why should he? What reason did he have? True, his friends were reason enough. But he hasn't seen them for so long. Did they even look for him? Did they even live? Did his precious nakama live? His dear crew he wouldn't swap for anything… He would give his life for them. And he would not leave it at that. What meaning did life have without them?

Even after long merciless hours of running he still ended in a certain sickroom where a certain kitty was lying.

The little thing was getting better. She was still sleeping but surely it had to mean something good. She was breathing calmly. And she was being so peaceful. Content with herself. The color of the fur got even more beautiful. When she was wet, it was dark and bloody. But now it even shined a bit. And it was as bright as his navigator's hair.

She wore a cast on one paw and some other wounds were bandaged.

Carefully, lost in thought even, the captain touched the sleeping bundle on her head. He cautiously stroked the shining fur.

It felt soft. So unbelievably soft. The fur was fluffy. It wasn't that long but longer than of any cat he had ever seen.

Her ears were scratched and scarred.

He wondered who the hell would hurt this little creature like that. He also wondered how in hell he could have thought to let it die.

He wandered to her ears, caressed them.

It felt weird. But he couldn't quite figure this feeling out, either. Why did he care so much for this kitty? Why did it appear in his head right beside Ace? Why? What was so special about her? Her will? Or the hopeless fight? The hopeless fight she won after all. What did fascinate Luffy about this cat? What was so special about a cat which was supposed to have died?

He didn't know. He just didn't know. Like so many things.

What did he know about this creature? What? Could he judge it? No. Then why did he? Why did he want her to lose this fight? Everybody deserved to live. Right? So why was he against it with this kitten? Did he hate her? But then, why did he come here? Why? Why _had_ he come at all?

He turned and left the room.

Day 7

The next day he sat on the same cliff as the day before. And again he was thinking.

His anger decreased. His sadness increased. But he started thinking about it. About his pain, his agony. He started dealing with it, facing it.

Until Jimbei approached.

"Luffy, you need to eat something. "

He sounded really worried.

Luffy wondered if Nami would like him. After all, Jimbei was a fish man and Nami had been enslaved by one. For so many years she had to suffer. So would she accept this one in particular? Would she be afraid? Or would she hate him? But then again, she had accepted Okta, hadn't she?

But probably she would never get to know him anyways. So why did he ask himself something like that at all? He had failed. He wasn't worth being called captain anymore. He didn't deserve this title anymore.

Nodding, he stood up and followed Jimbei.

Here he had friends who were important to him. Friends who would not let him go just like that. He still had a reason to fight. Even if it was such a small one, it was there, the reason. But the will, his will –to fight; to live; to keep on pushing past hardship –was not there.

Being so happy about Luffy coming to her finally, Boa Hancock fainted momentarily, only waking up when Luffy had finished his meal and had disappeared once again. But at least he had eaten something. That way his wounds could heal way better and he would survive. Yes, at least she was sure about that.

Luffy hadn't eaten as much as he usually would. However, the daily amount of food available to him when he wouldn't come in was being all used up; it was a good sign after all.

After the meal Luffy went directly to the room he so much hated and yet was so familiar to him by this point.

Why did he hate it? The cat hasn't done anything to him. And he didn't hate people or animals just because they survived a fight he lost. Since when was he jealous? Above all the kitten was hurt quite badly. She had to endure as much as he had had to. So why did he hate her? Why?

Before entering the room Luffy heard something meow.

Was the kitten awake?

He probably wasn't aware of the small, the tiny smile that slowly spread over his lips and he went just a little bit faster.

In fact, the cat had woken up and now tried to stand, though it constantly fell down having the paw casted.

As Luffy entered the cat's head shot up and she observed Luffy with big, brown and curious eyes.

Maybe it was this moment that sealed his destiny. Maybe not. But these eyes – he could swear he had seen such beautiful ones somewhere already. And he could swear that he missed something here. Something small – a detail maybe. But something important. Though, what was it?

Slowly, he walked over to the cat and laid it down again.

"You mustn't get up or else your bones won't heal," he said monotonously. But it wasn't like he had talked to others in a different tone. "You have to be more careful. You've been injured badly and it has been pure luck that saved you."

Luffy couldn't quite grasp this look. That look. He didn't understand the emotions behind. Yes, he saw the emotions but he couldn't assign them. Why? Because all he felt was sadness, anger, hatred and agony? Was it because of that? But would he recognize these emotions if someone looked at him like that? Would he be able to tell what the other was feeling?

"Meow."

Luffy was torn out of his thoughts and looked to the kitten.

"What'cha want?"

"Meow."

She tried to stand up again. But Luffy put her on the table once more.

"Are you hungry? I could get you some milk."

"Meow."

Luffy considered what it meant. Was it a yes? Or a no? But he wasn't stupid. He would be hungry like a wolf after such a trip.

"Wait here, I'll get you a bowl milk", he said and went quickly to the kitchen to get some milk for his little kitten.

Why was he so eager? Why did he want to help this cat? Why was he doing this? He didn't understand himself anymore. Because he just did it. He acted somehow on instincts. His head was thinking but his body didn't listen. Since the moment he had found the cat his body started acting all on its own. And his head only speculated about his actions. No, it was more like his head was thinking something completely different. Like his body acted but his head was somewhere else. He just saw himself from above doing all these things. And he tried so hard to understand it. But nothing in his life made much sense anymore.

Whoever he met, that person was ignored. He just got a bowl and the milk and ran quickly back to his small cat.

The kitten was lying down when he came back. So it seemed she had listened to him.

The raven haired boy put the bowl next to her and poured the milk in. The cat tried to stand up again but this time Luffy grabbed her and held her upright as long as she was drinking. She emptied the whole bowl and even licked the bowl clean. After that she licked over her lips and looked at Luffy with those brown, round eyes of hers. She looked thankfully. But also longingly. Was it longing? Or did he get it wrong? What else would she want?

"Meow."

"Are you still hungry?"

The cat seemed to smile at least it appeared to Luffy.

She meowed again. And that confused the boy. What did she want?

"So no hunger, huh?"

He laid her down again but she jumped to her paws and walked to where he was leaning against the desk.

She had her forepaw casted but still she had the other three paws to walk with. Slowly she got used to walking only on three.

She snuggled against Luffy's jeans and purred softly. In doing so she lifted her head and looked at him with sparkling brown eyes.

He was captivated. She fascinated him. But how? And why? Why was he fascinated of a cat?

He had to go. Fast.

Luffy turned around, said nothing, didn't even look at her once more. And fled.

Day 8

He came back at last. He just couldn't not come. It didn't work. Of course he had been running beforehand, during the night. Dawn had just broken when he came here. Here, to the small kitten that amazed him so much.

He got himself a chair, brought it to the desk and watched the kitten who in turn watched his actions with round and curious, or so they appeared, eyes.

He laid his head on the table and was on eye height with his cat.

"How should we call you?"

The kitten immediately twitched with her ears and raised her head. Her gaze was full of hope. Or was it? Luffy wasn't so sure. Why would a cat hope? But the kitten knew better why she was hopeful. To name something was the first step to win Luffy for herself. He wouldn't leave her alone anymore if he just opened up a bit more. Just a bit.

Smiling slightly–an awkward, crooked smile –Luffy thought about it.

"How should I call you?"

"Meow?"

Luffy examined his small kitten.

"How about I call you Meat?"

The cat jumped to her paws and hissed at him.

Luffy didn't move a bit but his expression changed a little.

"Okay, okay, not Meat."

He pouted and the kitten meowed. Apparently, she was amused, which conjured a bigger smile upon Luffy's face.

"How about Steak?"

Again, the kitten hissed at him but stayed lying and raised only her paw to show her disapproval. And she growled. Yes, it was a growling and not purring, though it sounded so cute.

"Ok, not either. So … Sausage?"

"Salami?"

"Then Ham."

"Fish! You like fish as well. But that is stupid. Then you can't be called Fish."

Feverishly, Luffy thought and stared at the cat.

"I know it!" he said suddenly. "Every time I see you I think of oranges. So why not calling you Mikan?"

Luffy smiled because of his idea. Unconsciously. But still he did.

"That's how I'm gonna call you from now on," Luffy decided and the kitten meowed happily. "So you like the name, too? I'm glad, shishishi."

Mikan jumped to her feet and fell down again. Thereupon, Luffy jumped up and lifted her, examining her anxiously.

"Are you okay, Mikan? Did you hurt yourself?"

Mikan purred in his hands though, and seemed to enjoy it there. The cat was so small that she found enough space on Luffy's hands without any difficulty.

She snuggled on his hands and purred happily.

Smiling, Luffy stayed like this for a while. A pretty long while, for he didn't want to hurt her. He didn't want to destroy this moment, either. This moment that was filled with love and warmth. These feelings he hadn't been experiencing for such a long time now. Why could he feel them now all of a sudden? Because of a cat? That was ridiculous. And stupid.

He laid her down again carefully, not daring to look into those disappointed hazel eyes of his kitty.

"Be good," he said quietly. He hadn't intended those words to come out. And he sure as hell hadn't intended promising her to come back. So why had he done it? Why? He wouldn't be able to protect her, either. Not even such a small kitten.

He turned around wordlessly and left.

Day 9

He ran. He ran like crazy. And he ran since he had left the infirmary. Where did he take the power to run all of a sudden? To run that long. Where did he take the power from? Especially when Ace's death overwhelmed him again; when the pictures of death threatened to crush him; when everything seemed so hopeless again, so pointless; when the anger shook him again… how could he draw power from that? The anger and the endless sadness, the agony… The pain, the sharp dagger in his heart…

He wasn't able to breathe. Why was he doing it anyways? Why didn't the world stop to rotate after Ace died? Why did it go on rotating, bringing new day after new, unbearable day? And why did he live when his brother had to die? What was he guilty of? Why did he have to die? And what was Luffy guilty of that he wasn't able to save his brother? What did the crew do that they were separated so brutally? And what did he do that the world still went on rotating?

Day 13

He was running yet again. The images were too strong. They smothered him. They held him on the ground, took the air needed to breathe, took the will to live. Why? Then his desire for revenge started. He wanted to kill the government. One person after the other, without mercy –all of them did deserve it. All of them deserved to die. They deserved it, without exception –every single one of them. For they dared to just look the wrong way at Ace.

This incredible rage overtook Luffy's thinking and he destroyed everything on his way. Everything.

Soon, though, the rage faded, and all that was left was pain and agony. These two were his devoted companions during the past weeks. Just like his shadow were they always there. Followed him, didn't release him and troubled him. Every second of his life. They drove him insane.

"Meow!"

By hearing this sound, though, his mind blacked out and his body turned on automatic.

"Meooooooooooow!"

And a wild snarl was to be heard.

Luffy sprinted, as fast as he was able to, to the place and was right on time to throw himself on the big tiger before the large predator could devour the kitten.

He killed the tiger. He didn't care.

The raven haired boy turned immediately to Mikan and picked her up.

"Mikan, are you fine?"

Luffy was worried. No, he was worried _sick_ because she shivered and had scratches all over her body. Her cast was off, too.

"What are you doing here? You have no business here, Mikan!"

He didn't shout at her, though his voice trembled and sounded very dangerous.

Mikan's fur raised and she growled back. She shivered still, though.

Luffy scolded himself right after. Still, he was very worried about her. Anything could have happened to her. She could have been killed. Without the slightest problems. On the spot.

"Come on, let's patch you up."

Mikan relaxed and curled up on his hands. They were so warm. Although being scratched and smelling after blood, and she hated the smell of blood, Luffy's hands were his and he was there. He was there again and saved her again. Her hero. Her savior. She felt safe and secure with him. And … loved, yes. Maybe it wasn't Luffy's intention, but the small kitten felt loved by him. For who would save her if he didn't, at the very least, like her? She had been hunted and nearly killed, after all. So, to assume that the person, who brought her milk and saved her twice, loved her wasn't that out of place, now was it?

"My goodness, gracious me!" said the doctor when she saw the two enter. "Like lordling, like animal." She sighed. "Put the animal down there. I'll take care of you right away."

"But take care of Mikan first. Besides, I'm fine", Luffy disagreed.

He leaned on a near wall and observed the doctor tending to his little kitten. In doing so, she told him that the cast was down already because the fracture was not that bad, and this kitty seemed to heal extra fast. But she scratched her paw really deeply, which the doctor tended to right away. Apart from that, she was fine though.

Mikan meowed happily and observed Luffy all the time.

The doctor turned to the boy and insisted on taking care of him as well. He looked terrible. So much blood. Dried and fresh. Still flowing blood. What did he do, this boy? And what was he still doing?

Luffy murmured something, but gave it up soon enough. Just for the kitten he did this.

When Luffy was taken care of, too, he took Mikan and walked with her into the kitchen. He was hungry and he was so sure that she was too.

"Luffy! Oh, Luffy!" a voice called from behind, and a very shy Hancock waved at him. Until she saw the cat in his hand. Her hand stopped midair, and her look turned hateful, then angry and finally hurt. In the end, she seemed not to care, for as she continued her way to Luffy, she didn't appreciate Mikan with just one look.

Mikan wondered about this beautiful woman. But she didn't care. Mikan knew that Luffy liked her more than this bitch.

"What do you want to eat Luffy-kun?"

"A cup of milk for Mikan and then whatever cats eat."

After that Luffy took a look at the buffet and even while walking did he stuff his mouth with lots of meat. Not to mention all the plates he filled along the way.

Mikan would have smiled if she could have. Luffy was really something else.

When the plates were full and the boy had stuffed enough food, he sat down at a table in the big hall. It was a big one with many tables and chairs. There was a buffet and it seemed a door to the kitchen.

He sat Mikan down on the table and as he had finished the first ten plates Mikan's milk and another bowl with meat in it were brought.

The strawhat boy smiled slightly, seeing the kitty rush to its bowl and start eating. Just like him. This thought alone cheered him up: just like him.

Mikan licked the bowl with the meat and rushed nearly immediately to the milk. She felt like she was in heaven. Her stomach was full for the first time in a very long time, and her hero sat right next to her. And she was sure that, now, he wouldn't ever leave her. Why? Because she would go look for him and he wasn't one to let her endanger herself. He would not let her get hurt, just like before he would rush to her side, save her, then shout at her, but it all meant that he cared for her. And that's why he would not leave her ever again. Maybe it was even because he liked her a bit more. And she was sure that Luffy knew –consciously or unconsciously, but he knew nonetheless.

She licked her lips, sat down and looked around.

Some women were eating; others were observing her with big round eyes. Mikan wondered why. Just because she was a cat?

Then she turned and laughed. Of course all came out was meowing but when she saw Hancock all by herself and ignored by Luffy, she just could not hold it. Somehow it seemed that Hancock liked Luffy, too. But he didn't like her in that way. Sure, he must have been thankful for being allowed to stay here. But that's it.

So, Mikan turned around again and was promptly gazing into two black, deep eyes, which must have been observing her all this time.

The kitten stood up elegantly, stretched and curled against Luffy's hand, purred with pleasure.

The boy smiled softly, stroking her fur. He was astonished to find out how different it felt today; it was much softer and fuller. It even shone much more and sparkled. She was becoming prettier and prettier, his Mikan.

Luffy finished eating and even though he wasn't full at all he took kitty and left with her, completely oblivious to the hurt look of Boa Hancock.

"What shall we do today, Mikan?"

"Meow."

Luffy chuckled.

"Oh, yeah, that sounds great."

"Meow."

Grinning, he looked down at her. "Do you wanna tease me, Mikan?"

"Meow?" Big brown eyes looked at him from under him. He could not even act as if he was mad at her. She was such a beautiful creature. So wonderful. So wonderful.

The straw hat boy walked to the cliff again. It was late afternoon by now, but the sun did not shine. It looked more like it would rain. Still, Luffy wanted to stay out. And he knew that Mikan would be where he was. So, she would stay outside. With him.

He sat down on a rock and put Mikan down on his lap.

"Beautiful, isn't it, Mikan?"

"Meow."

He black haired boy rhythmically stroked her back, and caressed, with his other hand, her ear.

How she loved this. Really. It was like Luffy knew where he needed to touch her to make her utterly happy.

She purred contently and leaned into his hand. Her tail twitched when she liked something, and he watched as it went back and forth across his lap.

Day 14

Her cat instincts woke her up even before she knew if there was something wrong.

Mikan jumped to her feet and walked to the bed Luffy was lying on.

She had her own basket and even though she preferred being near to Luffy, she assumed that the basket was the nearest she could hope for.

It was still in the middle of the night and only the moon slightly illuminated the room.

The cat ducked right in time before Luffy sent her flying across the room.

Alarmed, she looked at him.

The boy rummaged in his bed. Lashed about. Breathed heavily.

It was right after that the cat jumped on his chest and swatted against his skin with her paw. Though, it was in vain, since Luffy did not wake up. He just got more fidgety. He wrestled with the sheets, his limbs flailing about frantically. He whimpered and cried bitter tears.

Mikan had difficulties not falling off of his body and something needed to be done.

"Ace."

He sounded full of hope. And it broke her heart. For Ace was dead.

"Ace!"

His voice became pleading.

"No, Ace!"

Now he started to cry.

Mikan walked up to his face, bent down and licked him. Well, if this did not wake him up …

"ACE!"

It tore her heart apart.

Turning, she stroke out with her paw and scratched him so roughly that she was sure that the wound would be way too deep, but he had to wake up.

Instantly was Luffy awaken and sat upright in his bed.

Mikan was pushed by him and flew to the other end of the bed, stopping before she fell down.

Luffy panted and looked sharply around the room.

Again. Again did he have this nightmare. Just when would it stop?

"Meow?"

Two wonderful brown eyes brought him back.

His look fell down on his lap on which a certain cat relaxed. Then his look wandered to his bruised chest, bleeding. It looked like he has been scratched.

The orange cat licked his stomach. She did not want to hurt him. And she was sorry. But at least he was awake.

"Oh, Mikan," he sighed.

The straw hat boy let himself fall down on the bed once more and put his arm above his closed eyes.

Meanwhile, Mikan jumped down and ran away. Luffy wondered but did not even look at her disappearing.

He was so exhausted. It killed him. Always, when he thought it couldn't get worse, it just got worse. Much worse …

Before he could rack his brains though, he heard Mikan meow and her light and quite tiptoes on the floor. Then he felt a slight weight on the bed and finally on his stomach. But apart from the soft paw he felt something raw, too. Luffy looked up and found a cloth hanging from Mikan's snout. Carefully she laid it down on his chest and stepped on it as to wipe away the blood or at least she tried and at the same time she tried to stop the bleeding.

Luffy smiled.

"What a clever cat you are."

He stroked her fur, sat up and sat her down on his lap. Then he dabbed his chest and wiped the blood away. The bleeding would stop soon enough by itself, but he would push the cloth on it until it did. Thereby, he caressed Mikan behind her ear all the time. Purring, she enjoyed the gentle touch.

Day 14

Since Luffy's nightmare Mikan hovered over him and admittedly, he even enjoyed it. She was curled up on his stomach and he stroked her fur constantly.

Just how much he loved this fur. He knew someone was there. Someone was taking care of him, even though he thought he did not need it. Still, it was a nice feeling. And this cat, his Mikan, reminded him of someone so much. Didn't she? He had yet the feeling that he missed something. Something was there, he just did not find out what. It bothered him the rest of the night, but the nightmares did not come back, nor the plaguing memories of Ace.

By early morning, when the sun sent only small sunbeams through the window Luffy wanted to get up. But he just couldn't bring himself to wake the little bundle on his belly. He just couldn't. She was too cute and too peaceful. She was his angel. Oh, yeah. And he would protect her with everything he had. And damned shall he be if he wasn't able to protect such a small creature.

Yes, the straw hat captain found new hope. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to shoulder a life, protect it and make it happy.

Mikan awoke by a small movement and looked at him with big, round brown eyes. Luffy smiled and he ruffled her fur.

"Good morning, kitty. You slept well?"

He chuckled when Mikan stretched herself and yawned as if to tell him just _how_ well she has slept.

She waddled on his chest to his face which she licked, her rough tongue becoming an evermore familiar sensation to him.

Laughing, Luffy hold her high and prevented himself from another lick attack.

"No, my little. That was a mean attack."

"Meow."

"What was it? You wanna deny it?"

"Meow."

"Aaaah, that's not good, Mikan."

He looked punitively at her.

"You wanna deny your deceitful plan?"

"Meow."

He looked at her challengingly.

"I think I have to punish you for that. A dangerous pirate is standing right in front of you, after all."

Luffy swore seeing her trying to stick out her tongue at him. Stunned, he watched her. But then he pushed the idea away as his imagination, and threw her playfully on the bed.

Mikan immediately turned on her feet, meowed and looked at Luffy challengingly. He put her on her back again and started to tickle her ruthlessly. Or at least he tried. Well, what a pity, but she just wasn't ticklish. She purred instead and played with his hand. His hand was something like a ball of wool to her and she tried to catch it with her paws. Luffy didn't care that he got some scratches from it.

Their little game was soon disrupted when Luffy's stomach started talking to them. Immediately, Mikan jumped to her feet, bit Luffy's finger and tried to pull him from the bed.

"Easy, Mikan, easy" he said, laughing. "Let me change my clothes first."

His clothing held his sweat, and surely he didn't smell well anymore, either.

"Let me take a shower."

Mikan looked like she was thinking about it, sniffed at his hand and wrinkled her nose. She let his hand fall nearly instantly, ran to her basket and stared at him.

"Thanks."

Smiling, he walked to the bathroom and left Mikan alone in the room. Though, he didn't close the door completely. But, who should come in, anyways? Whoever it was, Mikan would banish him. Nobody was allowed to see her Luffy like that.

The kitten heard the water splash and relaxed. Luffy had become so vulnerable. But she wasn't surprised by that. Though, it broke her heart. Why had something terrible like that had to happen to such a wonderful person like Luffy? She didn't understand it at all.

Mikan coiled up in her basket and stared at the open door.

The room was big and spacious. That Hancock had given him a nice room. One side was completely glazed, therefore the room was flooded with light and you had a beautiful sight of the glittering sea. The bed was right in front of the window so you always had enough fresh air. Furthermore, the room had a desk with two chairs, a cupboard, the door to the bathroom and a big carpet in the middle. Mikan was sure, it had cost a fortune. The walls were painted in a soft yellow with strong orange and brown stripes here and there. All in all, the room appeared cozy, and that it was. The bed was gigantic and soft. Sleeping there was like a dream. It had felt like on clouds. And it easily fitted two persons.

Mikan closed her eyes but her senses were on guard. Of course, she had to protect her hero with everything she had at all costs. But she was tired, too, so she rested a little bit. It wasn't like the night was too short, but cats had a natural need to sleep more than a human being and Mikan knew she had a long day before her. But it would be beautiful, she was sure. After all, she'd be spending the day with Luffy.

Suddenly the water was turned off and she heard steps, skin being rubbed and then more steps. The cat opened her eyes, raised her head, and immediately wished she was asleep, because Luffy was standing there in the doorway. Without a towel. Completely naked.

She looked him in the eyes, but it just didn't work, she had to watch his whole body and when her look met his lower half she would have blushed if she had some cheeks; she jumped up and dashed under the bed. He was _naked_. Couldn't he, for heaven's sake, just put something on? She was a female, after all. And he not. That was really a shocking moment for Mikan to see her hero like that.

"Mikan?" his worried voice sounded.

Mikan meowed just for him to put something on and _then_ come to her. But destiny seemingly hated her; Luffy did not put something on and walked over to the bed, squatted down so that his member was practically hanging in front of her and bended down. Mikan turned around and wanted to flee again, but Luffy's hand was faster and he pulled her out.

He examined her worriedly.

"What's wrong, Mikan?"

What did he think was wrong?

Luffy put his kitten on his bed, oblivious to her lowered head, so that she didn't have to see more than she wanted to see. But she had to say that his body was turning her on. It was a rarity to see him _that_ generous and somehow it was worth the view.

She was fascinated and she did look at him again, she did not get such a view everyday after all, while he walked over to the cupboard, opened it and took out some fresh clothes.

Mikan found her hero very attractive. And appealing. Handsome. Sexy, even. He was so strong, muscular and still, it did not look snobbish. It looked decent. Yet, he was very manly.

She licked about her lips. She liked what she saw, really, because this person belonged to her –and only to her.

Full of pride she jumped up and walked to her savior. She coiled around his feet, nestled to them. Well, she was still a small, cuddly kitty which wanted attention.

Putting on a white shirt, Luffy couldn't resist this little bundle anymore.

He lifted her up and put her on his shoulder.

Mikan meowed; she seemed to like it up there.

They walked like that to the dining hall where they were apparently expected.

"Oh, good morning, Luffy-kun," Hancock fancied.

Luffy just smiled simply, "Morning. Could you bring Mikan milk and meat again, please?" With that said he left the woman again and dashed to the buffet. He was hungry like hell. And this time he managed to eat the whole kitchen stock. But he still wasn't fit enough because all the cooks remained standing, barely breaking a sweat.

Mikan was eating calmly. The milk tasted splendidly and the meat, well, if there was not anything else…

But she did fear that the meat could be poisoned concerning the looks she was getting from Hancock. But why was such a small, poor, cute kitty at fault that Luffy liked cats and not snakes? And well, Mikan was a cat and Luffy liked her a lot. Moreover, she was so cute and Luffy was her savior and she preserved him from losing his mind as well as his hope. She was able to save him. And maybe it was only her, who was able to help him –to be there for him –since he was making progress, even if it were small steps, but they were steps nevertheless. And sure, it would take a lot more time until Luffy could finally think freely again. But every little progress was a great step. They had reached so much with it. And no matter how long it took she would stay by his side, as long as he needed her. And even then she wouldn't leave him willingly.

"Ready?"

Luffy's voice brought her back to reality.

She licked her lips.

"Meow."

"I take that as a yes."

Luffy laughed cheerfully, put her on his shoulder and dashed out, being completely oblivious to the jealous and hurt look Hancock's.

"So, what should we do today?" Luffy asked when they reached the cliff.

Mikan had an idea.

She jumped down of his shoulder and started running in one direction.

"Wait, Mikan. Where are you going?" Luffy asked surprised. He followed her immediately.

She had quite the energy and speed, but he had much larger feet and Luffy did not have a problem with keeping up with her and making sure she was safe.

Mikan ran through the forest. She was led by her instincts. Besides, she loved running. And even more when Luffy was right next to her. It was really wonderful.

The kitten leapt into the trees and jumped from branch to branch. Had she not been playful, she would have listened to reason. But she was energetic and felt mischievous.

So, Mikan jumped over a branch, landing on all four feet on the ground, and turned the corner sharply. She wanted to play hide and seek with Luffy.

She ran in one direction and stopped when she didn't hear any footsteps anymore. Then she did hear some. They were very silent, though.

She jumped onto a tree trunk and climbed it up, digging her claws into the bark. She leapt over branches, being fully aware of Luffy knowing very well where she was. But she didn't want to make it easy for him. So she bounded from tree to tree and fled as fast as possible, looking for a hiding place. She knew very well that Luffy was not going to let something happen to her; he liked her too much for that matter. Didn't he?

Mikan stopped on a thin branch, which barely stood by her weight and waited. She listened and listened for Luffy, for anything, but did not hear anything. No Luffy, no steps. Just the rustling of the trees and the chirping of the birds. And suddenly she felt him behind her. She was faster than him, though; she dashed away again.

"Mikan", she heard behind her. "You don't honestly believe to be faster than me, do you?"

No, she didn't believe it, but it made him laugh.

He laughed with all his heart, even though it was still hinted with sorrow. But she didn't expect anything else. His wounds were deep and who knew if they were ever to heal completely. The chances seemed slim.

Mikan didn't give up though, and jumped faster, wider and increased the distance between the two of them. Luffy laughed again.

"Fine, fine, I accept the challenge."

He was not out of breath, just like her. Mikan would have grinned if she had been able to, because it was so much fun. With Luffy, everything was fun, especially this.

Mikan looked back, saw Luffy who effortlessly outran her, and she tripped over a branch, lost her balance and plummeted towards the water.

Oh, well, just water. Wait a second. Water? She looked down. Water? Water?

"!"

Just now was the time to save her, so just where the heck was this jerk?

As she flew towards the water, in her mind she already found herself there, being feebly carried away by the currents, or, if not by them, then she would drown pathetically. Because she hated water and she wasn't able to swim.

She squeezed her eyes shut, her paws tense, ready to sink below the blue surface, when something warm wrapped around her.

Finally, Luffy's hand.

She let out the breath she didn't know was holding, relieved when she found herself held close to his chest.

"Meoow," she said exhausted.

Luffy chuckled but his voice sounded blaming, too. "You should take care where you're running next time."

"Meoooow," she complained and pouted. It was his fault. He shouldn't have distracted her.

Luffy laughed, "Now, don't be like that, kitty." He pressed her head against his cheek. "I care for you."

"Meeow," Mikan responded and licked his cheek.

Luffy chuckled, "Oh yes, I like you much more like that."

Luffy took a look around, wanted to see where they had landed and found that where they stood was a beautiful place. It was a kind of a clearing being narrowed by the cliffs. The other side was full with trees and next to them was a beautiful waterfall with a small sea leading to another waterfall.

"You know what I'd like?"

Mikan looked at him, interested. "Meow?"

"To swim."

"Meow?"

Luffy looked down at her. "Yes."

The cat blinked. Did she hear right? Luffy and swimming? B-but, it did not mean he would put his clothes down, now would he?

Mikan observed with horror how Luffy stripped his shirt, then his jeans and then –she just could not look away –his boxer shorts. Mikan was paralyzed. The second time today. Blood would have flooded her nose had she been human. But she was a cat and why did she feel something like that anyway? And why him? He was hot, yes, and certainly wasn't lacking –especially between the legs –but what was she thinking? Wasn't one shock at a time enough?

With even bigger horror she saw Luffy approaching her, lifting her and walking with her to the small sea.

Mikan stopped breathing.

He did not want to do what she thought he wanted to, right?

It was not before she saw the water below her; she started kicking like crazy and tried to wind out of his grasp. She meowed, scratched and turned but Luffy's grip was iron.

"Mikan?"

She hated water but then she had to _bathe_ with a _naked_ Luffy?

The cat did not want to give up. Because he was _naked._ Maybe she should just leave her eyes closed. She definitely could not bear seeing Luffy naked and then be forced to _bathe_ with him. She was a _cat_ after all. And she felt abused. Her eyes were abused. Unconsciously, but still abused.

"What's wrong, kitty?"

Luffy sounded so soft, so sensual. And worried.

"Don't you like water?"

"Meow."

"You do? What is it then?"

"MEOW!"

Luffy looked at her, puzzled. "Now you're being complicated." He turned the head like an owl and watched her.

Mikan sighed. "Meoooooow…" she exclaimed tortured.

"What is it, Mikan? You have to tell me what ya want."

"Meow, meooow, meooooooooow."

Luffy looked at her wide-eyed. He seemed to think.

"You can understand me."

Wow. How quick-witted.

Mikan turned her head and looked. What did he say?

He blinked. "Don't you understand me, after all?"

Now, he was confused.

"Cats!" he exclaimed, sounding exasperated.

"Meooooooooooooooow, meow, meow, meeeeeoow." She nudged him with her paw softly. Would he put her down again? So that she could flee. Or at least until he was dressed again.

Luffy sat down and put Mikan on his knees so that she was halfway down the water.

Her hopes cracked like bubbles. Really. This straw hat was incredible.

_What_ had she done to _whom_ to be punished like that?

"You remind me of someone, you know?"

Mikan looked up. Only at his face. Right. She looked just up. Just up.

Lost in thought he stroke her fur.

"In my crew. You remind me of my navigator."

"Meow?"

"Yeah."

Luffy looked down at her. His face was void of all happiness again.

"But I lost her."

"Meow?"

Luffy was silent after that.

"Meow?" Mikan said again. "Meow!" she nudged him again, he should go on.

"I lost them all."

Mikan stood up and jumped on his shoulder, huddled against his neck and face.

"Meow!" She was there. Who else did he need when he had her?

Luffy smiled softly.

"Yeah, pretty girl. You're here."

"Meow." She licked his cheek encouragingly.

"But, you know, my crew means so much to me. I would do everything for them. And not just go through hell for them. I would do so much more, Mikan." His gaze lifted to the sky, and she watched as he closed his eyes, looking like he was in pain, heartbroken.

"Meow?"

"But they're gone now… And I don't know where they are or if I'll ever see them again."

"Meow."

He looked back down at her, "And I don't even know if they wanna see me…"

Mikan scratched his shoulder, hard. Then she licked the blood away.

Luffy looked surprised. Did she understand him, after all? Yeah, probably. His little angel.

"You're right. It's nonsense. Why should they not want to see me again?"

But no one had come after these horrid events. But, dammit, how stupid was he to believe that they did not want to see him again just because no one showed up here; how should they know where he was?

Luffy sighed.

"But I don't know how to confront them."

Mikan pressed herself more to him. She was there. Always.

"I was weak. I couldn't protect them nor Ace."

Something wet trickled down on her fur. She looked up. But it wasn't rain. On closer examination, she found Luffy crying. Silent, heavy tears.

She stood up and licked his cheek, licked his tears away.

"Meow." She said soothingly. And it really did sound like that – reassuringly.

"What if it'll happen again? And what if they'll die? Why if they are dead already?"

Mikan beat him with her paw, did not scratch him though. As if she wanted to tell him that it was bullshit what he said. But was it?

Luffy let the warm sun rays glisten on his back. But his face was in the shadows and the tears flew unceasingly down.

Mikan would have loved to say something but she only had the power to let acts speak. So, she jumped on his hat and pushed it down so that she fell into the water. Luffy needed to be reminded – reminded that he was not alone; that he had to fight because he had still much to do; that he didn't have to doubt anything or anyone.

Luffy caught the hat before it fell into the water. And Luffy was immediately affected. Because he really _was_ reminded. He was reminded of his dream. Of his idol Shanks –and of his crew –that all of them still stuck to him. And of Nami…

He examined his hat. How often had he put it on Nami's head when she doubted the world just to gain new hope? For not being alone. For letting her know that he'll come back to get it back. Yeah, Nami was someone whom he really missed. She was someone special to him. But it was so terrible, not knowing if she was fine.

Lost in thought he looked down. Wait a moment, where was Mikan?

"Mikan!" he exclaimed startled when the cat didn't appear out of the water again.

He grasped into the water and pulled her out, laid her down on the ground and prayed silently for her to be fine. How did you revive a cat? He did not know. And, not for the first time, he wished to have Chopper here.

Mikan, though, decided for him when she started coughing up all the disgusting, sweet water.

Luffy fell down on the ground, completely exhausted, only the feet being in the water.

He had asked himself often why the water here did not affect him. It was weird since he felt in the water nearly like on the land. Not that weakened at all. Maybe the water here consisted of different components or maybe it was his broken mind that did not function well, anymore. Luffy gambled for the latter. His body had to deal with quite a lot. Maybe it had hit him so badly that functions like losing his power in the water were subdued. But who knew. For, surely, he had no clue.

Mikan stood up and shook her small body as hard as possible. The water splashed in all directions and hit even Luffy, but he only smiled since he did the same just seconds later. He shook like a wet dog. He could not really put on his clothes again, as wet as he was, now could he?

Mikan held her head vehemently turned to the other direction until being sure he was dressed again. A forth shock would have become too much for the little creature.

Day 15

"You know what, Mikan? I really miss my crew."

"Meow."

"Hmm, do you think so?"

"Meow."

"Hmm."

They sat on the cliff again and watched the sun go down. Luffy understood what Mikan said and he did not wonder as to why she understood him. Or why she answered him, in her way, but still she did.

They had spent the whole day out. They had run on the beach together, had done a footrace and had played hide and seek. Hancock got more jealous with every passing moment because Luffy only occupied himself with the cat. She resented Mikan even more because the cat helped Luffy while Hancock did not. Or at least Luffy let Mikan be near him, what was nearly a forbidden position to the empress.

"Do you think they miss me, too?"

Mikan nodded. "Meow."

"But …"

This wasn't like Luffy, to be all doubtful. He knew it himself. But the doubts belonged to him just like the pain and the agony were his shadow. But Mikan cast light onto that shadow, and he didn't doubt that often anymore. Or at least not that strongly anymore, anyways.

"Meow."

Mikan put her paw encouragingly on his stomach. "Meow."

Luffy smiled. "Yes, of course they miss me. Why should they not miss me, hm?"

"Meow."

"Shishishi."

Mikan purred and cuddled to his lap. She really made it comfortable. Even though she knew, just _where_ she lied. But what would she do about it? Nothing.

Luffy grew silent again. He was lost in nothing but a blank mind as he continued watching the sunset.

Day 16

"Just what should I do, Mikan?"

It had been raining the whole day, which they had spent on the cliff once again.

Luffy was overwhelmed with something like a relapse. It just overpowered him. The remembrances, the feelings. It was all too much. He broke. He broke again. He broke right in front of her eyes and she couldn't do a damn thing about it. She could not help her great hero. She could not do more than just be there, then just let him know that he wasn't alone and that he needn't shoulder the entire burden by himself.

"I'm not strong enough, Mikan. How can I go on?"

She couldn't tell if it was just the rain or if he was crying.

"Meow."

The boy put his hand on her back. It was heavy with grief and weighed her down.

"But what should I do, Mikan?" His look was one full of despair. "Ace is dead." His voice broke. "He's dead and he's never gonna come back again. I even lost my crew."

He drooped. "And they haunt me. They all haunt me; punish me, for not being strong enough; for not being able to protect them."

"What should I do, Mikan?"

She nudged his hand, and then snuggled at his stomach. "Meow." What else could she add?

"What if they don't want to see me? What if I won't ever see them again? What if something happened to them, just because of me? I don't wanna be the reason for their misfortune." He sobbed. "I failed Ace already."

"Meow."

She nuzzled his tummy, licked him. Good heavens, he should stop feeling this agony. It tore her apart. It tore him apart, it broke him right in front of her and she couldn't do anything, but watch him breaking. And she hated herself for that.

"Meow!" she said, determined. "Meow!"

Luffy looked tearstained at her. "What?" he aspirated.

"Meow."

"I need to look forward?"

"Meow."

"But how if the past doesn't leave me alone?"

"Meow."

"No! I _don't_ have all the time in the world!"

"Meow!"

"No, Mikan! You don't understand. I cannot stay here forever and hide. I need to get out of here. I still have so much to do. But how? How should I do it if the darkness floats above me and threatens to crush me every second? I'm a wreck; I cannot expect anyone to bear this all with me."

"Meow."

Luffy silenced.

"Meow."

He closed his eyes. "But what if it takes me too long? What if I don't heal? What if I break down out there?"

"Meow."

He cracked his eyes open and looked at Mikan, completely shocked.

"My … friends?"

"Meow."

His look grew tormented.

"I'm gonna be a burden for them. Especially, if I break down. Besides, I'm their captain. I mustn't break down. I need to be strong. If I break down, who would hold them together?"

Now Mikan grew silent. She didn't have a response to this.

"There. Not even you can tell me what to do."

Day 17

"Meow."

"What do you say, Mikan? You wanna stay in bed today?"

Luffy looked at her anxiously.

"But you didn't catch a cold, did you?"

"Meeow."

"Hmm, that's not good. I'm gonna take you to the doctor."

"Meow," the cat complained.

"If you're sick, you need to be treated."

Mikan made herself heavy on his flat stomach and eyed him dearly. "Meow."

"Fine, no doctor," Luffy gave up. "But if you're feeling just a bit worse you gotta tell me."

"Meow."

Luffy smiled. "What a well-behaved kitty."

It was still early in the morning, yet the sun illuminated the whole room. They had stayed long outside, yesterday. So long… until Mikan started sneezing. Then Luffy snapped out of his self pitying and brought her back.

Oh, she didn't like to remember it. Actually, he had taken a towel and scrubbed her clean and dry. And God, he touched her everywhere. Again, she had felt abused… even though it had felt nice, too. Still, she would have liked to have more privacy, but maybe it was asked a bit too much since she was just a little kitty.

The night proceeded peacefully. Luffy napped. Mikan kept a close watch on him and made sure he was calm. She didn't close one eye. She had guarded him. And she was really tired because of it. But it had been worth it.

Luffy seemed to be feeling better. She was glad because the cat really did not like a sad Luffy.

She closed her eyes and fell nearly instantly asleep.

Day 18

They had spent the previous day in bed, just like Mikan wanted to – besides going to eat, of course.

Though, today, Luffy absolutely needed to go out again. He needed movement. The boy felt trapped and constrained in the room. That's why he felt uneasy and started seeing things. Quite frankly, limitation made him go crazy. But Mikan had tried to distract him, as much as she was able to. It had helped a little bit, but the reality crashed against him time and time again.

But now they were free again. They walked through the big, wide forest, and Luffy felt a lot better. He stopped thinking, he didn't feel like being suffocated or smothered by his thoughts. He could breathe deeply and move. He could let his instincts take the lead again.

"Meow."

Mikan was walking right beside him but slowly fell behind, because he got faster and faster. And since she had such small feet, she wasn't able to keep up his speed.

Turning around, Luffy slowed down a bit to let her cross the distance between each other.

"You're lagging, my girl."

Laughing, he picked her up and put her over his shoulder.

"Come, let me show you what real speed is."

Grinning, he sped up and both dashed through the forest as if their lives depended on it. But it helped Luffy so much. He could exhaust himself physically; he knew he was free of responsibility; of burden – even if it were just momentarily…

He needed to do it or else the darkness would have crashed down on him again. On the one hand, it was a kind of training, to get stronger and faster, and on the other, it became his release. That way the feelings didn't rage, and he could think much more freely and cope with it. He needed this liberty. As long as he wasn't able to handle himself, and the world, he needed this.

Mikan didn't know how long they were running but eventually they ended up on the beach. For the first time she saw ships docked here at the island. And somehow it was logical, still, it surprised her. Even if she had thought about it, she didn't really expect other people here. She had only seen Hancock's women and no one else. Especially no other men beside Luffy and, on this ship, there were men.

She was taken aback when she found Law approaching them. Trafalgar Law. What was he doing here?

Luffy stopped and walked to him. Law looked at him thoughtfully.

"Hey, you're still here."

The ally grinned.

"Yeah, I thought it'd be better."

Mikan examined the man. He looked quite handsome. But Luffy was much better. Much hotter. There was no competition.

"Oh, what's this, a cute kitty-cat?"

She heard the sentence before she understood its meaning and was pulled from Luffy's shoulder and hold by her neck in the air. She watched a blonde man holding her and grinning at her until she felt sick. Suddenly, something inside of her felt very strange. She felt hot and cold, both at the same time; she trembled and instantly had great pain. But no sound left her mouth. Only blackness surrounded her.

When she opened her eyes again, a few seconds later when the pain was gone, everything felt so weird.

She was released of the man's grasp and fell in the sand. Her look wandered down and she gasped, horrified.

She had legs again. Human legs.

"N-Nami?" The trembling voice of her captain.

She froze.

Oh no.

Oh no, oh no, oh no.

Tears welled up in her eyes. Damn, he shouldn't have found out. Ever.

Slowly, the orange head turned around and wanted to look at him, but before she could something wrapped around her shoulders. Only then did she notice that she was completely naked, actually.

Appalled, she quickly put on Luffy's shirt but did not dare look behind her. It wasn't necessary anyways. Luffy turned and left for the forest.

"No! Luffy, wait! No!"

She yelled but he didn't listen. Nami jumped to her feet, ran two steps and stumbled about her own two feet. Her tears threatened to spill over. Watching his back as he disappeared made it hard to get back up and run after him.

What had she done? Just _what_ had she done? Wilting, she looked sadly down at the sand, gripping the fine grains and closing her eyes shut tightly to fight back the tears.

Law withdrew with his crew and left Nami alone, never saying a single word. But she was fine with it. It was better this way anyhow.

Sniveling, she looked into the forest, hoping to recognize Luffy somewhere between the trees. But it was in vain. He was long gone.

Thus, Nami stood up and set off to Hancock's palace, since she needed clothing really urgently. She was cold and despite Luffy's shirt she still felt naked.

* * *

It's quite long but I hope you still liked it. Part 2 will follow sometime soon! I appreciate every kind of criticism. :D


	2. Cope Part II

Hey guys. I'm really sorry for the really long wait. Life got in my way of translating and yeah ...

Here it is, though, I finally found enough time to finish this one up.

A huge credit goes to my beta reader **foxchika**. Check her stories out - they are amazing :D

Here we go, enjoy!

* * *

Hancock was a witch, but Nami didn't expect anything more. However, she was given some clothes, and she took them graciously. With them in hand, she walked into Luffy's room and changed.

He wasn't in there, but Nami knew he wanted to be on his own. Alone, just so that he could think. To gather an understanding of what was going on, what he was feeling… but she could understand him to a degree, since he was their captain, after all.

Nami sat down on the bed and watched the sun go down, entirely lost in thought.

As captain, he wasn't allowed to show weakness. He didn't allow it. To anyone, and certainly not to his crew –this she understood. He was what kept the balance equal; they looked up to him, expected his orders. They could hardly entrust him with their lives if he was just a bundle full of pity. He needed to be strong for them, which he was not right now, and that was why she understood why he wanted to be alone.

But on the other hand … he wasn't simply their captain. He was so much more and he needed her. And she needed him. And she wanted him. She wanted to feel him with her human hands. She had missed him so much. She wanted to hear his voice, wanted to talk to him. Even though she had heard his voice as a cat, it was a completely different thing now. Besides, she hadn't talked to him because she hadn't been able to, even though they did understand each other somehow. He did not understand everything, though, and it was not surprising. Moreover, she wanted to help him as the human she was. He was her friend that she needed to take care of right now. He wasn't just her captain now. They did not have a ship here, nor a crew, and Nami knew that he wasn't ready yet to be captain again. Not that he had set it aside, his title, but he just wasn't ready yet to carry that much responsibility upon himself, and even if outsiders thought otherwise, he had always carried so much responsibility. It would overwhelm him now. And that was why she needed to go to him as a friend and he needed to be helped. As a friend. Not more and not less. They were, after all, nakama.

Nami stood up, went to his cupboard and, oh, how wonderful, there was even a sweater in there, which she put on and went outside.

Nami wanted to find her friend so badly, she needed to explain herself; apologize. She was fine with everything. Really everything. Because he needed her. And he needed to know the truth. What had happened; why it had been that way. Why she hadn't told him anything. Why she had lied to him. Betrayed him. No matter, how you looked at it, it was wrong what she had done. She should make him know somehow. He found out who she was in the end. But the moment she saw him, she knew that she was powerless as Nami. She needed to be someone unknown to him to get to him. She hadn't thought she would have to go that far. She hadn't intended for it. Yet, she didn't regret it because it helped her understand him. She was just sorry that she had hurt him.

Stepping outside it started to rain. Nami stopped for a second. But her doubts left her in a second and she continued on her way to Luffy.

When did Luffy let himself be stopped by rain when his nakama were in trouble? Never. Exactly, so where did she get the right to doubt and fail him? Nowhere, which was exactly her point.

The orange head fought with scrubs and passed dark foliage. It was cold and wet but she was protected a little bit by the trees which were hovering above her, so she didn't get that wet, anyways. Her current fear was to meet a wild animal. She would not be able to defend herself because she was missing her clima-tact since she had been turned a cat. And she was, physically, just a woman dependent on a weapon. She didn't have any abilities –besides her stealing tactics, that is. In the end, all she could do was hope and pray she would not meet an animal here and to be fast enough to escape if she so happened to cross paths with such a beast. Or to be lucky enough and meet Luffy, who would save her.

Nami headed for the cliff, because Luffy had there been nearly every time before and she didn't know where else to look for him. So, if he wasn't there, she wouldn't know where to go. And it wasn't as though she wasn't willing to search the whole island if it had to be done, but she was afraid of not finding him anywhere. He would be running away from her, not letting her near him. And even if it wasn't typical for him to run away, he hadn't been normal the past few days either. Luffy wanted just to think, probably. To have time to cope. Just because of that he wouldn't avoid her, would he?

But when Nami entered the cliff's clearing, her fears lost their ground and she sighed, relieved.

"Luffy?" she spoke carefully.

He didn't move. He just sat in the rain with the back turned to her and simply didn't reply. Was he thinking? He didn't seem willing to talk to her.

She didn't care. Nami hadn't walked here just to be ignored by him. If he wanted to ignore her it was his decision. But she had no right to leave him alone now without saying a single word.

She sat down on the ground next to him, her knees pulled up to her chest. She crossed her arms over them, and silently –for a moment –she just watched the roaring waves and the thick, dark clouds that hovered above the island.

"It was wrong –I was wrong. And I'm sorry."

Still, no reaction from Luffy.

"But I'm not regretting it. I mean, how else could I have gotten to you?" she asked quietly. "You would have stonewalled me, just like you're doing right now… But, it's alright."

Nami nodded, more to reassure herself with her position than anything.

"Yes, I had lied to you, and that was not okay. So, you have all right in the world to be angry at me." Sighing, she leaned forward, put her head on her arms. "But I hadn't even known if it was possible to become, well, me again."

She closed her eyes, smiling, "You know, I have no idea how I could have told you anyways. I wasn't able to speak, or write… Though, you did understand quite a bit. But how would you have reacted, finding out the truth?"

She shook her head, "Maybe I should have told you right away. Maybe. But it was worth the lies."

Nami heard him sigh.

"Have you seen the others?"

Nami shook her head again, "No. I was looking for you… If I had met one of them I wouldn't be here all alone. I hadn't met anyone. And then you were taken by Law… I lost track of you. It was pure luck having found you here, in the end."

"You could have died."

"…says the one that stormed into three major Marine bases." She leaned back, stretching her arms out to support her. Talking like this made it almost seem normal –

"You could have gone on without me."

That line made her angry, "Who are you trying to convince? Me or you? Besides, you could have gone on without me, too. So stop talking bullshit."

"Nami!" he said, grinding his teeth. Now he was looking at her. "You could have been hurt so badly. And it would have been worse than death."

"Did it ever stop _you?_"

"That's a complete different topic."

"I don't think so."

"I don't care."

She nodded. "Yes, sure, it doesn't matter, I suppose. What matters now is that I'm here. And you've got two possibilities."

She stared at his eyes and Luffy met her gaze without blinking even once.

"Two options: the first is you send me away. I would go, if you said that you _needed_ to be alone to get better. I would begin to search for our crew and as soon as we're complete again we'd come back here and get you. Or, you don't send me away. Then I'm gonna stay here until you tell me you're ready to set off and we're going to go find them together."

The first option would be very hard for Nami. But she would take it without blinking. If it helped her friend she would do everything, even sailing the Grand Line, all by herself, to find her friends.

He watched her fiercely.

"The first one is insurmountable anyway."

"Why?!" she hissed, but she was happy deep down. He would not let her go alone. He wouldn't leave her at all.

"Because you wouldn't get far alone, didn't you see how near to death you had been just a week earlier?"

Sighing, Nami closed her eyes.

"But if it helps you …"

"Who says it helps me?" This time his voice sounded much softer, nearly painful.

"You act like you need to be alone to cope with everything, Luffy." She put her arms around her knees and her head on top of them. "But, you know, it hurts terribly if you're alone." She closed her eyes. "I was alone for eight years and, after Bellemere's death, nobody was there. Well, how could they? I had cheated them all."

Her chest tightened painfully. "I had wished so much to have someone to take away that pain. Or at least part of it… someone who would have helped me, anyhow… But no one had come."

Sighing, she stopped thinking about it since it was Luffy who was the one that was currently hurt. Not her. "That's why I'd rather stay here with you. But everyone copes with something like that differently, so if it helps you when I'm go-"

"I already told you that it doesn't help me."

Nami smiled softly. "Fine, I like staying here," she said, nodding.

"Are you cold?" the boy asked when he saw his friend tremble all over her body.

Nami buried her head deep inside her knees and shook it vigorously.

"You mustn't lie, Nami."

"I'm not lying."

Sighing, Luffy stood up and went to her.

"No!" she said quickly. "You don't like it in there, and I won't leave you alone anymore."

Maybe she had been a cat, but never had she been stupid or naïve.

"But if you get ill, it'll be even worse."

Nami pouted. "I won't."

Luffy's corners of the mouth twitched and a small smile appeared on his lips.

"Fine, I'm cold, so let's go."

Nami looked at him skeptically. Sighing, she then stood up as well.

"Can you walk or should I carry you?"

Nami thought about it and it really sounded attractive. But she decided against it. Yet, she took his hand and started going.

"When you are too exhausted, _I _could carry you instead."

Luffy examined her mischievously. He grinned slightly. "So, you think, you're able to?"

Nami stuck out her tongue. "Why not?"

Luffy walked next to her, his senses all on guard. "Well, first of all, I'm much bigger than you. That would be problem number one. Number two is that I'm heavier than you. Besides, you'd just break down immediately."

"Now you're being mean!" Nami pouted and hit him on the head. She stared off ahead, and said confidently, "I would do it somehow."

Luffy smiled, squeezed her hand and continued in silence.

"… Luffy?"

"Hm?" he looked down at her curiously.

Nami opened her mouth and closed it again. She repeated this – twice. Then she shook her head, "Never mind. Forget it."

He squeezed her hand again. "You know you can tell me everything, Nami."

She nodded, smiling slightly. "Yeah, I know. Thanks."

"No need for thanks."

He saw that Nami had something on her mind and despite the shock Nami gave him – he had never, not in his worst nightmare, thought that Mikan could be her – he was terribly worried about her. And how could he be mad at her when she was right? Still, he was disappointed that she hadn't said anything. Though, he was the last one to judge her because of that. She just wanted to help. And she had achieved her goal. Besides, he was so terribly happy to have her with him; to know that she was fine and that she'll be fine from now on – since he was with her now.

After a silent walk back – though the silence was not crushing, no, both of them were lost in their own thoughts – while holding hands, they arrived in Hancock's castle who immediately welcomed them. Or rather, she welcomed Luffy and looked at Nami like she wanted her dead on the spot.

"Hey, Hancock, could you get Nami dry clothes? I don't want her to catch a cold."

"But of course, Luffy-kun ."

She was really delighted with Luffy. It didn't surprise Nami because who would _not_ fancy for Luffy? He simply was the best. But somewhere deep down Nami was jealous. Just a little bit, though she had no reason for it since Luffy didn't seem to be interested in Boa Hancock.

So, Nami leaned on Luffy's arm and waited for the clothing. She closed her eyes and did not see the hateful look she was observed with by Hancock, who already planned how to get rid of the orange head.

Luffy turned his head to the empress, maybe he noticed her look – maybe not. "Hancock, that's Nami by the way. My navigator."

Hancock was not stupid but now she was sure. That's it with her great plan. She could not really kill his navigator, now could she? Then again, why not? She would give him a so much better navigator – herself. A better woman, a better life – a better everything. As long as this _brat_ was not with _her_ Luffy she was fine with everything.

Noticing Nami leaning on him, he let go of her hand, but put his arm around her shoulder and pressed her to him. He didn't like her trembling.

Hancock looked at them with anger but before she could say something a woman came and brought the things for Nami.

"Here, I'm sorry it took me so long."

"Should have taken you much longer. This witch would have gotten sick at least," Hancock murmured under her breath.

"Thanks", Luffy said friendly and took the things. "Come on, Nami."

She nodded weakly, and continued to use him as her support. But wasn't it him who needed to be held? Nami hated herself for it, she really did. But she was so cold and Luffy so warm. And it just felt right. It had always been like this. He had always been there for her. And it was rare to find their roles reversed.

They walked to Luffy's room; Nami leaning on him; Luffy the caring friend.

"You should take a hot bath, Nami. When you're sick, it's too late already."

Nami smiled softy.

"Aye, aye."

Regrettably, she let go of him and walked into the bathroom. She pondered only shortly about the bath for she did not want Luffy to wait long. That's why she just took a hot shower. Still, she was quite long in the shower but Luffy would forgive her.

The black haired boy waited at the window for her. He had opened it and sat on the window sill. The wall was not fully glassed, so he was able to sit here.

He watched the forest, the sea. Everything and nothing. His senses were on Nami, though. He heard the water splash; knew she was fine. Intuitively, he knew. But still, he was worried. And despite his shock he has been careless. He had left her. He had let her walk through the stupid forest all on her own and he could imagine that she did not have her weapon what meant that she was defenseless. What could she do against a stupid tiger?

Sighing, he leaned on the window frame. He was very glad to always listen to his instincts. But he knew that he had wanted to leave the cat. He would have let Nami die. Yeah, he would have let it happen. And it all just made it worse. If not for his instincts, he would have killed his navigator.

Exhausted, he run his fingers through his hair. Had he really been that careless? And now? What should he do now? Now, that Nami was back again. He had to be strong. He had to be so strong. Because he had found the kitten. He had seen how it looked. He had seen how Nami looked. He had been able to catch a glimpse of her skin. She was still green and blue all over – bruised, hit, hurt. And something was on her mind. She needed him. He mustn't be weak now. Especially since he was her captain and all. She had to be able to rely on him. But then again she knew everything. He had told her everything.

The grip around his heart loosened a little. Yeah, Nami knew all of that. He had confessed all of his weakness. He had entrusted himself to her. She knew who she dealt with. But would she accept him like that? As the Nami she was, and not as a cat? Because Nami wanted to feel safe, wanted to be protected. And it wasn't as if he did not want to do all of that. But he just did not know if he was able to. He did not know if he could comfort her when he himself was at the end of his power. But she knew that, right? She knew that.

His thoughts were interrupted when the door to the bathroom opened and Nami came out, apparently looking for something.

"Luffy, where are the clothes?" For she hadn't taken them with her.

Luffy smiled softly. Really, sometimes she was just bonehead.

He turned, jumped down from the window sill and froze. First, she was clothed just in a really short towel and second … the sight of her was really terrifying.

Almost immediately, he was behind her and touched the wound on her back. The complete strikes were hidden by the towel, but he was not stupid.

Nami twitched under his touch, gasped and froze. She was so tense that her body trembled slightly and Luffy had the feeling that she was afraid of him.

So, his not being strong enough ended up with her nearly getting killed and getting scars that she probably wouldn't lose ever again.

Luffy wanted to cry.

He hugged her. Damn it, it was not him who she should be afraid of. He would protect her. He would never let someone hurt her like that. Never again.

He pressed his head against her still wet hair.

"What happened, Nami?" he asked hoarsely. Did he even want to know? He would kill everyone who had just looked the wrong way at Nami. He would find them and torture them until they begged him to release them. And he would kill them then. But then he'd be just as a coldblooded murderer as them. Just as corrupt as the marines. As everybody in this world. And he did not want this. He mustn't be like that.

He felt Nami relax and droop, but he held her and did not let her fall. Never again.

She clasped his hands in front of them, squeezing them gently as she pressed her back again his chest, ignoring the slight pain. She shook her head slowly.

"No, Luffy. It wouldn't change anything if you knew." Her voice was just as hoarse. "It's too late."

Her words lay heavy between them. For Luffy misread her words. It was too late – he had not been there when she had needed him the most. But Nami just meant that it had happened and could not be changed now even if he knew.

"But…" her voice trembled while saying it. She shut her eyes tight, turned in his arms and clung to his shirt. "But …"

Luffy held her tight. "But you won't …" her voice broke again. "You won't let them get me?" She sounded questioning and unsure. Though she should know the answer. _No, Nami. I won't let anyone get you. I promise. No one will hurt you. I won't let them, Nami._

He kissed her on her head and held her tighter.

Who had hurt her so badly that she was so afraid? She hadn't been do afraid of Arlong who had enslaved her most of her life. If he found those bastards he would not guarantee for anything. Nothing. For no one, really no one, dared hurt Nami like this. And much less to make her fear him.

"I'm here, Nami. Don't worry. You're not alone."

Nami laughed bitterly. "Shouldn't that be what I say?" she asked frowning. Her grip did not loosen, though.

Luffy smiled half-heartedly. "No. It had always been my words to say and it'll stay this way."

She loosened her grip and looked at him, tormented. "I'm sorry, Luffy."

He shook his head though. "No, Nami. It _has_ to be this way. I have to be there for you. And not the other way around. That's my task. To take care of you and to be there for you, that's my task. All _you_ have to do is be happy."

Nami shook vehemently her head but Luffy didn't let her speak. "Nami, I _have_ to be strong. I mean, since I am the captain, I have to be strong. And because I am the captain I have to make sure you guys are alright. I have to take care of you all. But I don't do it out of duty only but because you are my nakama and I love you and I like protecting you. I could not ever forgive myself if you get hurt after all."

"But-…"

"No buts, Nami. Who did this? What happened? Why have you been in the water and why have you been a cat?"

Nami sobbed. She wanted to help _him._ She did not want _his_ help. It just didn't matter what happened to her anymore. She was here now. That was all that mattered. Now all she wanted to do was taking care of _him_. For sure she did not want to be confronted with _that_. She did not want to speak about it. She just wanted to forget it. No more.

"It's okay, Nami. It'll be fine," he kissed her on her head again, stroked her hair and brought her even closer him. "I'm here."

"I don't want … to be weak anymore. I … want to … be able … to help you, too."

It hurt him seeing her like this. Just because he hadn't protected her, she had gotten hurt so badly and wouldn't let him help her now.

"You're not weak, Nami. You're everything but weak. Just look at you. You survived when everybody else would have died. It shows so much strength. You're so strong."

Not even his words could convince her. She did not stop crying and clung to him even though she knew she was not really allowed to. She did not want to make him fall. She did not want to push him over the edge. But, by relying so much on him, she did just that.

The navigator wiped her tears away and released her hold on him though sobs still shook her body. "I'm sorry."

The black haired boy wanted to respond but Nami never let him. She took her things and disappeared in the bathroom. He looked thoughtfully at the door. He was sorry he had to be like that but he could not let her see his pain anymore. She needed him now and it seemed she wasn't aware of how much she needed him.

Luffy sighed and took a seat on the window sill again.

He didn't look at her when she left the bathroom because he did not know how to face her but for sure he did not expect two warm arms entangling him suddenly. "You should shower, too. And put on something dry. If _you_ get sick it's even worse than if I do."

The girl let go of him again and went to the bed where she lay down. She was tired and exhausted.

Luffy briefly surveyed his navigator. She wore a plain white shirt and loose knee-length shorts. Now that he looked precisely at her he found all those other wounds and he had to force himself to look away because he suddenly wasn't so sure anymore if he wouldn't just squeeze it out of her and hunt those bastards down right away.

He jumped down, closed the window for he didn't want Nami to be cold and left for the bathroom.

It did not take him as long as Nami so he was soon at her side again. She looked up at him sleepily from the bed. "You're sleeping here, right?"

Did she sound panicked? Luffy sat on the edge of the bed and stroke a bang out of her face. "Do you want me to stay here?"

She looked him tiredly into his eyes. "Yes."

Nami crawled onto the other side of the bed and gave Luffy enough space to even lay next to her. "Here?" he asked stunned. He wasn't really surprised since his cat always had been at his side as soon as she was able to walk. From the second night on they even had shared the bed. It had never been a problem before when they slept outside or in a hotel now had it? So why did it feel so different now? So suddenly …

"Yes, of course here. Here's enough room for a third one."

Luffy looked at her awkwardly. "No. No third person."

Nami sighed. "I'm just joking."

Luffy smiled. "I know." He lay next to her and looked her into the eyes. "Sleep. You look tired."

Nodding, Nami closed her eyes and cuddled into her pillow. It was warm and somehow she didn't even want to put the blanket above her. But when the mattress moved Nami opened her eyes and even before her mind had registered what she was doing her hand had already grasped Luffy's. He looked at her dumbfounded. He saw panic in her eyes. "I'm not going anywhere, Nami. Just switching the light off."

She seemed to think about it for a moment before she let him free. But she followed his every step with her eyes as if suspecting him leaving her alone after all. But he didn't. Instead he turned the light off and came back again.

"Aren't you cold?"

He didn't wait for her answer but shoved his arms under her body, lifted her onto his lap and put the blanket back. Then he put her on the bed again and covered her. Her cheeks reddened as she observed him with widened eyes. "I don't want you to get sick" was his simple answer.

Nami didn't care just as long as he was there. Just as long as she wasn't alone.

Day 19

His voice woke her up, though it was not like Nami wanted to hear him.

She sat up quickly and watched the tears falling down his cheeks. He called Ace' name again. And again. And again. Panicked, demanding, fearful even. It broke her heart seeing him like this.

Crawling to him she tried shaking him awake. It was just a nightmare. A nightmare he couldn't escape from it seemed.

"Luffy" she said softly. "Luffy, wake up."

It was still night since no moonlight illuminated the room. It was pitch black.

"Luffy" Again she shook him but again nothing happened. Nami desperately watched him. Something _had_ to work. He had to wake _up_. Wait, what had she done last time? Oh right, she had scratched his face but that was no option now. She didn't want to do it again.

Watching him as desperate as she was it suddenly came over her. She bend down to him, breathed his name and kissed him on his lips. Maybe it was the kiss or her warm lips, their closeness or just the moment that he finally woke up. Startled as he was he sat up and pushed Nami up with him who in turn let go of him. Panting both looked each other deeply into their eyes – intensively, desperately.

"Luffy" she said relieved and put her arms around him. She held him tightly. Luffy was apparently still too upset to react but he was awake and he knew she was there. His arms going around her and pressing her to him after a while confirmed just that.

"Everything's fine again, Nami."

She nodded and let reluctantly go of him again. She looked at him. "The kiss …"

Luffy smiled. "Was it the only way to wake me up?"

Nami scratched her head in embarrassment. "Well, not really. But I guess I just didn't think …"

The captain watched her softly. "It's okay." He said and Nami felt a weight lifting from her shoulders. "We should go to sleep again. It's still night."

Luffy nodded to his idea and lay down though the red head hesitated but found his idea good enough in the end and lay down very close to him.

"It's okay, isn't it?" she murmured. Luffy was baffled first but relaxed soon after. He found he really liked her near him so he put an arm around her and pulled her even closer to him.

Nami put her arm around his torso and cuddled up at his side. She didn't want to be alone and it seemed neither did he.

"Good night."

"Sleep well, Nami."

The sun was shining the next morning.

"Luffy?"

"Hmm?"

He hadn't really slept anymore. He wanted to make sure Nami was alright and as long as it kept him away from those nightmares he was fine with everything.

"No one knows where you are."

He pressed her closer to him.

"They are worried about you. I _was_ worried. It had been so awful not knowing where to start looking for you."

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. I just mean that maybe we should let them know you're alive and where you are. Or …"

Luffy had thought about it, too. The whole night.

He liked it so much having her at his side. Holding her, feeling her. And he was sure he would feel even better if he had his whole crew with him. He could sleep well again if he knew not only Nami but his whole crew was safe again because Nami showed him that it wasn't a nightmare but bitter reality and only together they were strong enough.

"… we go looking for them. Yes, we should find them."

Nami looked at him thoughtfully.

"Are you sure? I mean we could stay here for a while a-"

Luffy shook his head vigorously.

"No" he sounded as desperate as he looked. "I want you all by my side."

The sight of him tore her apart. His pain was so great she feared it would break him. She saw the need in his eyes. The need of his friend. He needed them with him. But was he ready to be captain again? Was he ready to face the world again? She didn't doubt his strength neither his inner nor his physical strength – but was he really ready to shoulder all the burdens again?

She put her head on his chest. It was wrong. She would carry his burdens _with_ him. She would not let him shoulder them alone again. Ever.

Grinning she raised her head.

"Aye, captain. Let's set sail!"

Just like in the night sky the boy lost himself in her eyes, drawing strength and courage from her. He needed his crew, his nakama and they needed him just as much. They trusted him and believed in him. He mustn't fail them anymore. Ever.

"They don't have a clue where to start so I guess they'll go back to where we were last together. Besides, our ship's still there."

"Yeah."

"But I got another, a better idea how we can find out where they are."

Luffy looked over to her. They sat yet again on the cliff and observed the sea while discussing how to continue.

"There are special seagulls – letter-seagulls, you know? They aren't bound to places but people. Just like the vultures in Alabasta. They track people."

Grinning she turned to her captain. "They are very rare and only few people know about them. Hadn't I talked to one of them while a cat I wouldn't have believed it myself. And the best is that one is living right on this island. I even know where it is at the moment."

Luffy's eyes sparkled when Nami finished.

"So? What are we waiting for then? Let's go find the seagull!"

He jumped to his feet, dragged Nami with him and stopped dead in his tracks.

"And what then?"

Nami sweat dropped. What was wrong with this guy?

"Don't tell me they shot your brain dead. But I guess it was dead all over …"

"Oi!" A little smile graced her lips when she looked up at him. "We just send them a letter."

Luffy froze.

That easy? It was _that easy_? He could find his nakama _that easily_?

He shuddered when he lowered his head and Nami felt her heart sink because she didn't know if she had said something wrong – well apparently she had – but then he suddenly heaved her into his arms and twirled with her in circles. Laughing loudly, he pressed her closer to him.

"You're the best, Nami. Shishishi. You're the best of the best!"

He was so happy he could embrace the world. Nami was here with him and nothing could stop him now to find his other nakama. No matter how bad his pain was, it was many times worse without his friends. He could bear everything just as long he was with his nakama. Those who loved, appreciated and needed him so much. Those who supported him. God, how he loved those guys. He couldn't live without them anymore and he knew they would always stick with him. And as long as they did that he would not break. He would be a worthy captain. Better than ever.

Day 20

"Becoming stronger, huh?"

"Yup. And we got to start here. It's still a long way to the next island und who knows, maybe we'll find some of our nakama on our way. Nevertheless we all have to become stronger so we'll survive the New World."

"Yes, fortunately I'm not a cat anymore so I will become stronger, too."

"Shishi, that's right, but you won't train until later, anyway."

"Wha-?! Why not?"

He turned his head and watched his navigator pull a face. "First – doctor's orders. You still need to fully recover. Second – just look at you. You're nothing but bones. I wonder how you hold yourself upright. And third – I need you more here on the ship than outside on the battlefield."

Nami sighed and pouted. It wasn't her fault that she lost so much weight. But she knew he was right. She needed to recover first before she could test out her limits. Anyway, she needed her strength to navigate this boat here, because they were on direct course to an island where they would meet with the others to get their ship. Together. Stronger. And with new found courage.

Smiling she turned to the sea, a small breeze flowed through her hair. She relaxed and enjoyed being herself again. Being on the sea again and with her captain.

"By the way, Bones, I'm pretty hungry."

Laughing, Nami wandered off into the galley to finish up something for them, Luffy following close behind. "Maybe I should force-feed you."

"What?! Don't you dare!"

"Shishish- ouch!"

"Your own fault! Quit whining!"

"Baka Nami. –Ouch!"

"Idiot!"

"..Nami?"

"Hm?"

She turned around and watched him curiously.

"What happened?"

Sighing, she turned to the stove again and started to cook. She hoped it would be enough and taste good. She would never reach Sanji but it should be at least enjoyable. And she had to feed Luffy.

"Alright. Short version."

She noticed him tense behind her.

"I was on an island when you disappeared after the war. So I decided to look for you and sneaked on a ship. Unfortunately, it was a pirate ship and because of my stupidity I blew up my cover, so they had locked me up. I could escape but ran straight into the next misfortune."

Bitterly smiling she thought back.

"One guy had had a devil's fruit power and he had turned me into the cat you found me in."

She stopped cooking for a moment and dwelled in memories.

"He had woken up the rest of the crew. Well, I had fought back, they had gotten aggressive and in the end I landed in the open sea. And, by god, I would have endured _anything_ to escape the water."

She shook her head.

"I have no idea what saved me, but when I woke up, I lay on the piece of wood you found me on. In the end, you found me and you know the rest."

"Nami … when did you … so many wounds … and so thin …"

She felt his hands on her shoulders. "They beat you, starved you?"

She couldn't answer him. She didn't want to answer him.

"Luff-"

"Which pirate crew was it?"

"Luffy …"

She turned around to finally face him. He was so angry, so beyond angry.

"I already told you that I fought back. I'm sure they have bruises, too. Let it be, captain. I survived it. I'm even a human again. It's just a few wounds that make me stronger. It's not the end of the world. And look, to lose a fight doesn't mean to lose the whole war."

The strawhat just nodded absently. "If they ever cross my path, I don't guarantee for anything."

Nami smiled softly. "That's fine by me, captain."

Luffy didn't know why but he just knew that Nami hasn't told him even half the story. It didn't make any sense. When did she lose all that weight? And what about all of her wounds?

Sighing, he walked to the table and sat down. He tried to stop thinking about the past. It happened. It was done. Nami was here with him now and he would be damned if he let her get hurt like that again. If those bastards ever dared to find him, he would gladly kill them. But it didn't matter. All that mattered were his nakama they had to find.

They had separated rooms, but Nami didn't quite understand why because before they had been sharing one, too. She wanted to be by his side. She wanted to feel secure in his arms. She wanted to be sure she wouldn't get hurt again and nobody would come near her.

Luffy didn't know about her nightmares and why she couldn't sleep.

The night sky was beautiful. The sea was calm. A gentle breeze kept their boat sailing. It was relaxing and peaceful. But the darkness was crushing. Just like Luffy was being crushed in that room, she was in darkness – at least when she was alone. That was the reason why she always wanted to stay with him as a cat – night and day. Not just because she was drawn to him but mostly because the fear would not let her sleep.

Quietly, and deep in thought, he observed his navigator from the door to his room. She hadn't noticed him yet. He saw she was breathing faster, panicky. She shuddered slightly. Every now and then she would look around her as if she was expecting some enemy to jump at her right there and then. He was worried sick. He knew it would take pretty long until she could be alone again.

He pushed from the door frame and made his way over to her.

Maybe they should just share the room again – and the bed. That way he could make sure she was fine and nobody would attack her from behind. He would make sure of that.

He put his hands softly on her hips and pressed her to him. She wasn't startled, as she had heard his steps. She leaned on his chest and let herself fall in his embrace. She had become so vulnerable. It was her own greatest weakness. But he would help her fight it and become stronger, fearless.

Slowly, Nami turned in his arms and looked at him, pained. She had lost the fight, but with it she had lost herself, too.

He embraced her tight. He would fight – for her, with her. He would make her strong again. And most definitely he wouldn't leave her again. He'd be there. He'd always be there and help her.

He'd fight for his friends.

–Even if it meant dying.


End file.
